True Friendship

Click here for the message of 1 Samuel 20:12-17.

We left off last time with the battle of David and Goliath. David knew that God was not only with him, but God was with all of his people. The Israelites would have been victorious without David had they realized that and trusted in God.

After David defeats Goliath he becomes something of a hero. This is how Jonathan and David become friends. In chapter 18 verse 1 we read, “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”

We also then hear of the women singing their song to praise David, Saul has killed thousands, but David has killed ten thousands. Saul becomes jealous of David.

In fact, Saul devises a scheme to get rid of David. He tells David that he can marry his daughter if he will go and fight the enemies, hoping that the enemy will kill David. David agrees and comes back victorious once again.

However, while David is away fighting the king gives his daughter to another man to marry. King Saul is surprised and upset when David returns alive. The king then finds out his other daughter is in love with David, so the king challenges David once again to go a kill one hundred enemy soldiers then he can marry Michal his other daughter.

David agrees and does so. This time the king allows the marriage to take place, but the king still wants David dead. So he finally just sends his soldiers over to his house to kill David. His wife helps him escape and this is where our scripture picks up this morning with the friendship of Jonathan and David.

David and Jonathan are soul brothers. They loved each other loyally and were devoted to each other. They loved each other as they loved themselves. They were committed to each other.

This type of friendship is tough to find these days. Most people are in relationships to see what they can get from it, not what they can give to it. But not these two people, they were dedicated to each other as we shall see.

It is interesting to note the fact that Jonathan who is Saul’s son would normally be the next in line for the throne. By rights Jonathan should be the next king. But he realizes that God has chosen David to be king. He isn’t jealous or envious or upset or deceitful or anything.

Jonathan simply loves David and supports him, looks after him, is kind to him, and cares for him.

This kind of reminds me of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

That really describes the relationship between Jonathan and David. Does that describe any of your relationships? Chances are this portion of scripture was read at your wedding, or you have received some type of wedding or anniversary gift with this scripture on it. Love is not just an idea or a thought or a feeling, it is an action.

We see that love in action with David and Jonathan. Relationships take work. Jonathan’s friendship and devotions to David put him at odds with his father. In fact, because of his dedication to David, Jonathan’s life was put at risk a few times.

In fact, Saul became very angry at Jonathan when David didn’t show up for the banquet. The King curses out Jonathan. Accuses him of shaming the family name for siding with David. Saul even acknowledges that David will be king and rubs it in Jonathan’s face. To top it all off, Saul throws his spear at Jonathan, his son!

But Jonathan remains dedicated and loyal to David. Friendship – relationships can be costly at times. They certainly aren’t free and they take work and dedication. It is about doing the right thing for the right reason.

Jonathan and David had this type of relationship. They had a deep connection to each other. Now we must not mistake this for any type of homosexual connection because there was none. This was a brotherhood type of soul connection.

Of course one of the big reasons they were drawn to each other is because they were both drawn to God. That is also another key to any relationship. There needs to be a common connection. In this case, it was serving God.

Today, I believe it is very difficult to find this type of true friendship. Most people are simply out for themselves. They give up when the going gets tough. They abandon their friendship when things don’t go their way.

That’s a real problem for us today. It is sad too. People are so focused on themselves that they miss out on a wonderful opportunity to have a deep and meaningful relationship with a friend.

Even in marriages people don’t find that friendship and I believe that is why so many marriages fail. The characteristics that David and Jonathan have for each other are what we need to cultivate in our friendships and our marriages.

I would also encourage you to find friendships and nurture them as well. Friendships are a necessity in life. We are so detached from each other these days. Sure, we stay in contact with facebook, twitter, and texting, but we don’t have that deep connection with others that we need.

One survey revealed that seven in ten do not know their neighbors. So I got to thinking about the main drag in Strongstown, 422 from the General Store to the Church. There are 19 occupied homes. Out of those 19 homes, I know who lives in 8 of them. I am not saying I am close with those 8 families, I am just saying I know who physically lives in them. And I have lived in Strongstown all of my life.

As a society we are indeed detached. As many as one third of the population has struggled with loneliness. It is an even bigger problem with the elderly and those that are not able to get out of their homes much.

This week, I would ask that you look again at the relationships that you have. Is there room for improvement? Can you be a better friend to someone? Can you start a new friendship with someone that needs a friend?

Do you need to rekindle your relationship with your spouse? How about with God?

Not all of your relationships will turn out to be close like Jonathan and David’s, but you’ll never know until you put forth the effort.

Closing Prayer:

Lord, we thank you for providing this great example of friendship between David and Jonathan. Help us to be more like them in our relationships. Draw us close to you and place people into our lives that will encourage us along our journey through life.

We ask this in Jesus’ name. AMEN.