Hard Hearts in Marriage

Mark 10:2-12
Length: 17:50

This is a message given on October 4, 2009 at the Bowdertown United Methodist Church.

Hard Hearts in Marriage

Jesus is continuing his journey to Jerusalem. The crowds continue to grow. The Pharisees are still monitoring Jesus’ activity and teaching, just waiting for the right opportunity to pounce on Him.

They decide to ask Him a question about divorce. Not because they are really in need of any answer, but simply to stir up trouble. Everyone stops and focuses their attention on Jesus to hear His answer. See, divorce was one of those hot button issues then as it is now as well.

The Pharisee’s had two main schools of thought on the issue. One division followed the teaching of Hillel who said a man could divorce his wife is she displeased him for almost any reason. If supper was burnt, the husband could divorce his wife. If the wife spoke disrespectfully of her in-laws, the husband could file for divorce.

The other group followed the teaching of Shammai, who said a man could only divorce his wife for a serious sexual offense. This view is of course closer to Jesus’ teaching, but still not close enough.

So as you can imagine, whatever Jesus says He is going to upset half of the group. You might be wondering why the Pharisees bring the topic of divorce up now. Well, Jesus is in the neighborhood of John the Baptist.

And if you remember it was over this issue that John was beheaded. So no doubt the Pharisees are thinking they can get Jesus to say something that will cause Him to be beheaded as well.

Jesus responds, “What did Moses command you?” Jesus is setting the ground rules for the debate. The answer to the question does concern someone interpretation or feelings. Rather, the answer lies in scripture.

We know that God designed a man and a women o be married to each other. This goes back to Genesis 1:27. They belong together physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This involves leaving your father and mother and being one with each other. Marriage is a covenant with commitment and faithful intimacy.

This is God’s design from the beginning. They become life partners, co-laborers. They are yoked together. One man with one women. God ordains marriage and that covenant should not be broken.

The Pharisees answer Jesus’ question by responding that Moses commanded a man to divorce his wife and send her away. The Pharisees response is partially correct. Moses did permit divorce, but didn’t command divorce as the Pharisees were implying.

Moses is not advocating divorce, but he does regulate it. And remember, this isn’t Moses, rather it is God using Moses to lay down the law. We also need to keep in mind that this was truly a male-dominated society where women and children were treated as property not people.

Jesus tells the Pharisees that God allowed divorce because of the hardness of their hearts. So Moses isn’t stopping divorce, but he is creating some regulations for it to protect the people involved, especially the women and children.

So a couple of questions arise from Jesus’ teaching. Since Jesus is confirming the possibility of divorce, what are the grounds?

It is clear that Jesus grants permission to divorce an unfaithful spouse. This isn’t a command. In fact, if there can be a reconciliation and forgiveness their should be. Christians are part of the body of Christ, therefore, Christians should seek the counsel and guidance of other members of that body. But most importantly, to seek council from God through prayer and reading His Word.

So, is unfaithfulness the only reason for divorce? Well, we learn from 1 Corinthians 7:15 that if an unbelieving spouse wants out of the marriage the believer is to let them go to keep the peace. The key to these two circumstances is that the commitment and the faithfulness of the covenant was broken.

We must be faithful to what the Scripture teaches. And part of the Scriptures tells us to be compassionate. So we need to apply the Word of God faithfully to our lives, yet still maintain sensitivity and compassion.

To finish up our scripture this morning, in verse 10, the disciples question Him about divorce some more, so they can have a more thorough understanding of His teaching. Jesus’ final statement is showing “equal” rights to men and women.

Men and women have the same rights when it comes to divorce and remarriage. There are no differences.

The sanctity of marriage is serious business in God’s eyes. Make no mistake about it, divorce is always bad. Malachi 2:17 plainly tells us that God hates divorce. It is a failure and should be recognized as such. That being said, we need to remember that we live in a fallen world and sometimes the conditions of life are less than perfect.

We don’t always have the option of choose between good and evil or right and wrong. Sometimes we need to choose bad over badder or wrong or wronger! How’s that for proper grammar!

Though God hates divorce, there are times when it is the lesser of the evils and would prevent a future and even greater catastrophe. So He allows it.

Let me close by saying, if you are divorced or have been divorced, God still loves you. You are not automatically rejected from Him. It is not something that will keep you from Him.
The marriage relationship is beautiful and is a part of God’s plan for many of us. They do however, take a tremendous amount of time and energy. Let us not forget that God has given some of us the gift of singleness, as well.

Whatever our situation might be, married, single, divorced, remarried. Let us remember that whatever we do, we do for God’s glory and honor. We should live by His Word.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly father, we thank you for our marriages. We thank you that you enable us to become one with other. We thank you that they are able to strengthen us and fill our weaknesses. Help us to truly honor our commitment to them and to you for you glory. AMEN.